Category Archives: HUMOR

I AM A CONTROLLER

lee_broom

I AM A CONTROLLER

 

I am a controller.

I have had three wives, five retail stores, 23 automobiles, one of which nearly took my life during a bang up traffic collision, raised nine children, survived nine bowel surgeries, raised money for six failed presidential candidates, one of whom became a United States Senator after changing parties, and I have less available cash than I did as a teenage entrepreneur.

I am a vegan which has improved my health considerably.

I am a controller but apparently not a very good one.

I’M DOING THAT DOC

lee_broom
I’M DOING THAT DOC
I’ve been losing my energy lately, usually in the afternoon and of course I’ve been blaming it on my new meds. I called my doctor. She  set up an appointment for me after reminding me that I’ve been nearly diabetic for twenty years and that I have had peripheral neuropathy for 8 years.
When she asked when i started getting dizzy I told her “about two weeks ago”.
She insisted I keep my calorie consumption below 1500 per day.
“I’m” doing that Doc”
Eat five times a day.
“I’m” doing that Doc”
Cut down on sweets
“I’m” doing that Doc”
Really?
“Not really. It’s harder for me to say no to sweets than it ever was to quit drinking alcohol”..
Really?
“Really”.
So go to Over-eaters Anonymous.
“Yes ma’am.”
curious-frog

A SOLUTION FOR FINDING LOST STUFF

lee_broom

A SOLUTION FOR FINDING LOST STUFF

A Solution for Finding Lost Stuff.

When you pray, whaddaya pray for?

Me? I’m an atheist.

Cool. So whaddaya pray for?

I told you; I’m an atheist.

Okay by me. So, whadaya pray for?

I give up. What do YOU pray for?

I ask for help in locating stuff that I’ve mislaid.

Really? Like what, for instance?

My cell phone for one thing. I lose it frequently.

Yeah? What else?

I lose my glasses a lot.

Anything else?

Umhmm; I pray for mislaid qualities like courage, honesty, acceptance; that sorta thing.

You do, huh? Who do you pray to? What do you call this God of yours?

Father.

Suit yourself. I’m still an atheist.

Really? Why?

Why? Because there is no evidence of A God anywhere.

Would you like me to pray for some evidence for you?

Do what you like.

I just did.

You just now prayed for evidence for me? What did this God of yours say.

He asked me to invite you to call anytime. He said He’s not going anywhere.

Father, huh?

Father.

I AM A CONTROLLER

lee_broom

I AM A CONTROLLER

 

I am a controller.

I have had three wives, five retail stores, 23 automobiles, one of which nearly took my life during a bang up traffic collision, raised nine children, survived nine bowel surgeries, raised money for six failed presidential candidates, one of whom became a United States Senator after changing parties, and I have less available cash than I did as a teenage entrepreneur.

I am a vegan which has improved my health considerably.

I am a controller but apparently not a very good one.