FROM THE DIARY OF A PERSON IN RE-RECOVERY

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“WE ADMITTED TO GOD, TO OURSELVES AND TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THE EXACT NATURE OF OUR WRONGS:

I am pretty sure that only God knows the exact nature of my wrongs. Love is outbound; Love is Unconditional and therefore peremptorily Forgiving. This does not mean that I can avoid this step, only that I must Respect God as my Higher Power.

God as I know God is not here to do my bidding. My list of wrong doings does not reflect the exact nature of anything. This is simply a list of opinions. I choose to not lose sight of the fact that I will  never know the exact nature of anything, except perhaps when I say “Goodbye” to my comrades and “Hello” to “The Rest of Me”.

WE WERE ENTIRELY READY TO HAVE GOD REMOVE ALL THESE DEFECTS OF CHARACTER.

Point 1: God is not my slave. I may ask; I make no demands.

Point 2: The concept of “removal” or the “destruction” of anything is a human idea of perfection and explains nothing.

Even the smallest habit is difficult (if at all possible) to correct but relatively simple to replace with something better.

Since God Loves me and Forgives me does it not follow that God’s Love heals me? Cannot God make me kind, caring and helpful to others?

Point 3: So yes, I believe that God’s Love can heal me. My character defects are a natural part of my fear-based, human self. These characteristics will remain dormant to the extent that I continue to ACCEPT God’s Love and to pass it on.

Falling into despair may open the door once again to the long forgotten narcissistic drive which brought me to my knees some years ago.  I have experienced this spontaneous rediscovery of old ideas of greed and frivolity twice in my life. I recommend such an experience to no-one.

WE HUMBLY ASKED HIM TO REMOVE OUR SHORTCOMINGS.

God, as I understand God is not destructive; God is creative.

As I accept God’s Love I have only to pass it on to all with whom I come in contact. This is I believe, is the path to sane living, especially attractive to controlling people like myself.

WE MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAD HARMED AND BECAME WILLING TO MAKE AMENDS TO THEM ALL.

To believe that I can to any degree, judge whom I have harmed is to ignore the invitation of humility.

Though it is important to realize that everything I do affects others, I can never know more than that. Only a Loving, All Knowing God has possession of such information. If I am to trust God then I must remind myself daily that my best judgment will always be flawed and that my willingness defines the limits of my own power.

As I approach this stepping stone in my recovery from craziness  humility will envelop me as I  accept God’s guidance through this step; the quality of my amends will redirect and improve my attitude toward others as I discover  with God’s Love, how to treat those in my life as I myself, want to be treated. There seems to be a distinct advantage in having additional opportunities for redemption.

WE MADE DIRECT AMENDS TO SUCH PEOPLE WHEREVER POSSIBLE EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS.

This may be the most important step I have ever taken, though I do not believe that I am responsible for another person’s pain; such an act would quickly reveal the size and volume of my ego.

I regard this step as an act of humility, though the words I choose to describe this event may actually be the same exact words chosen by one for whom selflessness has no attraction.

If I am right about this then it stands to reason that of utmost importance at this point is our attitude.  Though the act itself be an expression of God’s Love it can be tainted by my personal biases.

Such an act must be an act of kindness. I feel compelled to proceed not only with willingness but with caution and with God as my Guide rather than One obeys my bidding.”

From the pages of the diary of a person in recovery.
Submitted by that individual who asks to remain anonymous.

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GROUP APPROVAL

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GROUP APPROVAL is important to us all. It is the first and perhaps the only visible key to finding the safest way to live in a very dangerous world. There is a problem with this though. Groups do not rate the validity of a common held belief by its authenticity but by its popularity. That’s one problem; here’s another.

PROBLEM NUMBER TWO: Those of us who are aware that the group’s primary concern is group safety, may turn to thinking for ourselves. Perhaps we learn a truth that rates very high, authentically speaking. And then we learn that some of the Truths of the group are obvious truths and others are not. Do we pretend to repeat the mantras of the group or do we look for others who have run into the same problem? And then we realize that looking for approval for a different truth is just creating another group.

AND NOW…

NOW we CHOOSE between living life as a GROUPIE or as a LEADER and then we realize that a TRUE LEADER has only the SELF to lead. 

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Lee Broom

THE ELEPHANT MAN

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THE ELEPHANT MAN

Dogma or doggerel, unsupported  opinions tend to leap from one mind to another, aided only with the flicker of an occasional, approving grin.

“How do you know this to be?”  asks the exception.

To wit: “Everybody knows.” or  “The word is out.” or “Dontcha get it for cryin’-out-loud?”

And the decision to trust a Higher Power becomes arbitrary,

The idea of Time is reduced to inanity

And the aging voice of experience becomes The Elephant Man.

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Lee Broom

THE SEVENTH DAY

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THE SEVENTH DAY

ETERNITY

 

Day 1: The memory of all events begins simultaneously with the physical occurrence of the first.

Day 2: Eternity occurs in an instant.

Day 3: The Memory of Forever occurs in less than a trillionth of a second.

Day 4:  God begets His Great Self with the SNAP of His Metaphysical Fingers.

Day 5: Every event but the first one is a response to the one before it.

Day 6: The result: Total Knowledge of past and future events.

Day 7: GOD BASKS IN ETERNAL, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND   CONTEMPLATES HIS CREATION.

THE LINE

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It was a lovely spring day. The sun was warm, the birds were singing, and the wispy clouds added a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day.

Curious Abner arose early that morning perplexed as usual (the man had many questions) having just awakened with a REM time voice in his head still demanding, “Go stand in line”.

“Who said that?” inquired Curious Abner.

“Go stand in line.”

Abner rose from his state of confused repose, made his bed and his breakfast as the memory of the command “Go stand in line” continued in his head.

After his bowl of oatmeal, walnuts and one small banana Abner said to himself, “What a lovely spring day. The sun is warm, the birds are singing, and the wispy clouds add a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day. I think I will go look for that line and stand in it.”

And he did; he went for a walk, that is.

He looked everywhere for the line.

“Where is that line?” Curious Abner inquired; there was no one there to answer his question.

 

“Excuse me” said Abner to the first person he met. “Do you know where the line starts?

“I believe it starts right here” replied the stranger.

“Thank you” said Abner and the stranger went on her way.

And Abner stood in line.

Eventually Curious Abner began to fidget. Standing in line apparently was not a great way to spend a lovely spring day even though the sun was warm, the birds were singing and the clouds though wispy, added a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day.

Impatient and needing to do something, anything at all with his hurried, inquisitive self (Abner was a man with questions) he decided to return to his spring day walk. While strolling down the long sidewalk stretched before him Abner thought to himself, “You know, I probably received the wrong information from that stranger. Perhaps that was not the line, after all. It must be somewhere else. If I hurry to find the right place I may very well be the first person in line; that would be a good thing, wouldn’t it?” He asked this question even though there was no one there to answer.

Eventually however, someone did come along.

“Excuse me” asked Abner. “Do you know where the line starts?”

“I believe it starts right here” replied the stranger.

“Thank you” said Abner and the stranger went on his way.

And once again, Abner stood in line.

And as before, Abner eventually began to fidget. He observed once again that standing in line apparently was not a great way to spend a lovely spring day; what with the sun so warm, the birds asinging and the clouds though wispy, adding a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day.

And Curious Abner stood his ground.

Standing in line Abner wondered to himself, “If this is the line where are the rest of the people?”

Time went on. It was beginning to feel as though he had been standing in line forever.

Eventually however, another stranger approached.

 

“Excuse me” asked Abner. “Do you know where the line starts?”

“I believe it starts right here,” came the reply.

Abner thought to himself that perhaps he should invite this person to join him. That way there really would be a line.

“Would you like to stand in line?’ asked Abner.

“Thank you for asking” replied the stranger; “But this line is much too long” and continued on his way; “Have a nice day”.

Surprised at the stranger’s remark, Abner turned around. Behind him was a line of people that seemed to wend its way into Eternity. All were waiting patiently, no one was talking to anyone. “After all” observed Curious Abner (the man with questions) “who wants to talk to the back of someone’s head?”

But as soon as formed the words, Abner realized that he was looking into someone’s face, someone who until seconds ago had been looking at the back of Curious Abner’s head.

“Hi my name is Abner; what’s your name?”

“Betty” she replied and began to introduce him to several other people behind her. There was John, there was her sister Jeanie and her centenarian grandmother had come along; her name was Albina Mary.

Albina Mary had more stories in her old head than Abner had questions. (And as we know, Curious Abner was after all, a man with many questions).

Within minutes this part of the line was starting to look more like a party. And others further back, noticing that the restraints previously defined by the unspoken rules of Linedom had now been broken, began to emulate the conversational opportunities now being made available to them. As the line evaporated into groups of animated conversationalists, everyone involved gradually migrated to a nearby park.

By the end of this lovely spring day, the sun still warm, the birds no longer singing and the once wispy clouds having surrendered their touch of pastel pleasantness to the gathering cloak of darkness, Curious Abner  decided to go home, a practical decision (a part of himself with whom he was not very well acquainted wanted to stay and talk with his new friends) and he did just that; went home, that is.

As Abner crawled under the crisp, clean sheets he thought about the day and was grateful.

The next morning Curious Abner crawled out of bed, ate a bowl of oatmeal with walnuts, berries and a touch of honey mixed with six heaping teaspoons of rolled oats and a half cup of spring water heated for 90 seconds and went out to greet another lovely spring day; the sun was warm, the birds were singing and the clouds though wispy, added a touch of pastel pleasantness to the day.

Curious Abner (the man with many questions who now had some answers) thought to himself “I think I shall go stand in line.”

And he did.

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A modern fable.
Lee Broom